- Condemned for Silence
I took the high road for months, sadly I am now briefly exiting to the low road. It’s funny when people delete you from social networking sites based on what someone else is saying. If someone else is talking crap about their closest friend, you better believe they talk crap about you too. I turned the other cheek several times, but someone has diarrhea of the mouth blasting lies to everyone I know, even my husband, yet has not confronted me once. I want to hear it from the horse’s mouth, no pun intended. You’re working so hard to ruin my reputation, saying all the things I did for you when we were friends was to just get attention. I didn’t broadcast supporting you through your hardships, last time I checked that’s what friends do. You want to blame me for your marriage problems. Come on, be honest, with yourself at least, own your own crap. First of all your marriage started with an ultimatum, you’ve had problems prior to day one. If you feel like your spouse enjoyed my friendship more than you, you should’ve stopped pushing us to hang out all the time. I should’ve questioned your motives and been more cautious about being good friends with him, but that doesn’t make me a homewrecker. I can list example after example where you have slighted me, but I would sweep your questionable actions under the rug. “With friends like you, I really don’t need enemies.” You would return anything you borrowed from me trashed or not at all. You would do things like flip my shirt up in public right after I had kids to see how much loose skin I had (really). I would walk in on you twisting stories about me. Then you lose my 3 year old daughter at a large theater, laugh about it, and can’t even muster up an apology (still haven’t). I restrained my reaction to the latter incident because I cared for you as a friend. You later said it wasn’t that big of a deal, when it was one of the scariest things that happened to me. We have different priorities, my children are my life. That was the last straw for me. You admitted that was what this dissolution was mainly about, but then you concoct this whole story about me being a homewrecker as the reason we’re not friends anymore. I apologized to you, even though I know that you know nothing happened. I have been fairly quiet after this whole incident, I defended myself to a couple people that I thought were real friends and to my husband that you confronted twice. I didn’t appreciate you trying to make my husband do your dirty work, trying to make him confront your husband at work. I thought that was a nice touch trying to tell him I got a guy’s number in the club. I haven’t even given anyone my number when I was single. It’s a good thing my husband has been with me for 18 years. He knew you were up to no good, he smelled something fishy, no pun intended. That didn’t go as planned because I don’t lie to him that I’m still friends with your husband. I told him I’m just not friends with you because of your actions. I was trying to take the high road because of our children, but then you started pulling lies out of your behind. “When in doubt, tell the truth.” I feel childish putting it all out there, and don’t owe anyone an explanation, but when my son is asking me about things you told my husband, gloves are off now. Some things I accepted as who you are even though I don’t agree. Like you sitting in front of the mirror doing your hair and makeup a couple of hours, but not finding time to go to lunch or make your kids an Easter basket; you posing half nude for free all the time and talking about sending pics to nude magazines (I won’t post websites, but they are out there) but don’t start putting pics of your kids up until I mention you only put up pics of you; you tossing around the idea of having an affair with the married guy at your church that lives right around the corner from you (I told you that wouldn’t be fair to his wife); you constantly trying to get your children diagnosed instead of just spending more time studying and working with them, and using their medication to lose weight. Those are not the reasons I’m not your friend, I didn’t judge you. You and I are NOT friends because I can’t be around someone that feels the need to always down others to feel better. You can’t name one person that I have talked crap about that I haven’t said to their face. You would blast some of your closest friends, so I was smart enough to know you’re probably doing the same about me. I realize now, when I would say someone is a sweet couple, that especially triggers something in you. You have said this person… “just got married because they felt guilty having sex in sin” “thinks their husband is gay” “acts like they have money but is in credit card debt” “has prodigy kids but not smart their self” “is married but out being shady” “doesn’t take care of their kids” “looks like they gained weight” “is always trying to be like me”and so on. So, when all of them are deleting me a small part of me felt bad because I never joined in with you talking about them or did anything to them, and I liked most of them; but a bigger part of me thanks you for showing me my true friends.
I feel bad blasting you because we were good friends once. I just think if you’re going to continue to blast me, you should tell the whole truth. Consider this a warning, I have respected your wishes to end this friendship. When we were friends I would let it slide when I would catch you talking crap about me. Now that we’re not friends, please keep my name out of your mouth, because I am not going to sit here and let you give me any of the credit for the condition of your marriage. All your friends are enabling you, because they know I’m not responsible for your problems either because you never have a filter, you blast all your business to anyone that listens, so they know you already had problems. If I hear you talking about me, my kids, my husband, or my mom again, I wish I could say I will go back to taking the high road, but I might take your route and be more specific about names, websites, and pictures. You are a smart and beautiful person on the outside, you just need to work on the ugliness you have on the inside. It’s contagious, so I agree with you we are better off not friends.
In closing, I know I will find my way back to the high road. I apologize to those not involved. I don’t care what you conclude about me, but please don’t base it on someone else’s lies, base it on the way I’ve treated you. I strive to follow the golden rule and treat others the way I would want to be treated. That’s why I helped some of you that I haven’t even known long, because I don’t believe in making someone’s life any harder. I’m not going to speak badly about someone just because the accusations coming from a liar. So if some of you took my silence as guilt, shame on you.